Revue Review

Jeremy Hunt and a 7-inch rubber dildo; both have been known to shaft a fair few people recently but it was a hardened, more charismatic member which stole the show at this year’s Medchir Revue.

After much anticipation and a pyrotechnic masterclass of 3 lights and a knackered sound system the hosts for the night, David Boyle and Pat Suddaby, strode onto stage looking resplendent in kilts and questionable shirts. Our judges Paul Glen, Roddy O’Kane, Alna Robb & Prof Walters settled themselves in for what was to be a jaw-dropping evening of entertainment!

Last year’s winners Gastric Band got the show underway with a typically polished performance before Luke Maclean took to the stage and setting the scene of what was to come by serenading us with Tenacious D’s “F**k her gently”! Seb Vrahimis followed next nailing a drum solo of ‘In the air tonight’ including full Gorilla outfit; Dairy milk deliciousness!

Frank’s Red Hot Wings, a local Rock Band who were inspired by a side-dish from Dominos, shook the crowd into life with a rowdy performance that unfortunately ended up in a roasting from the Panel, who were quietly making their way through their 4th shandy of the evening. The wonderfully named Sid Kotikalapudi stripped back a Nirvana classic and strummed away beautifully to the delight of his adoring fans. The final act of a high-standard, if not technically difficult, first half was an absolute little treat for your ears with Esme Beer serenading us with notes capable of shattering glasses and shedding tears.

The half-time interval was spent attempting to make the most of pretty shoddy sound equipment whilst salvaging pints that were being butchered by bar staff. Eventually the pints became more tolerable and a well-oiled crowd took their seats ready for another half of tantalisingly, exciting excellence!

What a start to the second half we had. The somewhat disturbingly named “Pubic Symphony” brought the house down with a medley culminating in with beautiful cover of Adele’s ‘Hello’. By this point the crowd were begging for a quick fiddle and how Jack Houston delivered. The big, handsome, Irish lad’s phalanges, not for the first time, left his audience begging for more with his immaculately fiddled folk anthems!

By this point in the evening, political correctness and professionalism had disappeared and we were left speechless time and time again by the things coming OUT of the judges mouths. The best was yet to come; Chase Schultz-Swarthfigure as he prefers to be called, led his Rugby peers in a brilliantly performed Full Monty Routine, leaving a certain member of our judging panel wishing it didn’t end.

The standard just did not let up; a first year heartthrob was next to wow the crowd with his own song about exam period and revision. Chris Dunn took off his soccer shoes for an hour to play his strings as well as he plays those 1st year women, an impeccable performance.

Now, I came across this next act earlier this year and can confirm she’s arguably the most unpredictable person I know. Hence why I wasn’t surprised to hear Aimee Russell had a magic show up her sleeve. Ever the good sport, Alna Robb joined her on stage to

assist and helped to leave the crowd in stitches, if not bewilderment, as to what Aimee had just done, stunning!

Sean Hoath, a previous winner, was given the task of being our final act to compete for the glory and the highly sought-after quarter G! Despite rehearsing with his guitar, he scrapped it at the last minute and used only his uniquely skilful vocal cords to leave the crowd in awe of his talent. I tell the, thank the lord I wasn’t judging, borderline impossible to pick a winner from that bunch.

As is tradition the Medchir committee drew the show to a close with an alternative take on the junior doctor’s contract situation. The judges obviously remained neutral but there was strong support from their audience for their “short pantomime”; not bad for 15 minutes rehearsal!

The crowd took a breath but little did they know that very breath was about to be taken away almost immediately. As your hosts took to the stage accompanied by the opening chords of Adele’s ‘Someone Like You’ and once again our very own Cleanliness Champion, Alna Robb, nobody expected what came next. For those who were there, memories will last a lifetime. For those who weren’t there, I tried my hardest to entice you, you missed out on arguably the most surreal moment of my 5 years here, Unbelievable Geoff!

There was still time for a couple of birthday surprises and a final video which showed our marvellous outgoing Medchir President, Chairman Trung Ton, swapping his medallion for his stethoscope and saying goodbye to the people and places that have surrounded him since 2011. Rumours of a few tears from 5th years may not have been wide of the mark.

Alas, the fun had to end but there was a small matter of the Winner to be decided. After much deliberation, the judges decided as follows:

3rd – Jack Houston
2nd – Esme Beer
1st – Pubic Symphony

Pubic symphony brought the Debates chamber to their feet one more time, assisted by the rugby boys and members of our judging panel!

A huge well done to those Jack, Esme and of course our winners Pubic Symphony but also to all our other competitors who helped to make it a thoroughly enjoyable evening for all in attendance. We hope you enjoyed yourselves as much as we enjoyed producing it and hopefully you enjoyed the videos at a later date.

For those who were absent, make sure you don’t miss it again! For those were did attend, don’t mention the Dildo!

Pat Suddaby